I do believe there is a happy medium. I don't make my dogs do a "behavior" before getting on the bed or the couch. They don't always have to sit when they need/want to go out the door. And I don't always enforce the "sit behind the line" when making their dinner, etc. I do think it is important to know when those behaviors are warranted and they need to know that when I say/expect it, that they do it. I think that alot of people do take it to the extreme. Even down to not allowing the dogs to hang with the family, being crated, or not even allowed to play with toys - unless "you say so." That's ridiculous, IMO. Dogs are not robots and we shouldn't expect them to be. I do find that I have 3 opportunities to get a correct behavior and based on those, I adjust my needs, knowing what my dogs are capable of doing.
1) Restraint: They are so excited that treats, human interaction, etc., will not work. This is usually when they "lose their minds" and usually result in them being on leash or in their crates, or held by their collars, typically away from the situation until I say it's ok.
2) Reward: They are excited, but not so much that they don't know I have a treat with me. They will do anything I want at this opportunity.
3) Human Interaction: Just my voice is enough to get their attention back and they are willing to adjust their behaviors.
I've found that in knowing what they are able to do, and what I am able/have to do, then we create a structure that they understand. In each case, they do not get a free-for-all and even in "restraint" they eventually get releas3ed to a calmer behavior. Bauer demonstrated it very nicely this week with the family in town. Even though he spent very little time in his crate, he knew what I wanted of him and would look to me for either a correction or reassurance. It works. Not everything in life is free, but some things you get just for being "cute."

lol
However, I will say that I don't think all dog-owners/trainers are able to understand that concept. I know too many people who go from one extreme to the other and don't understand the idea of balance. So usually, recommending NILF to the general public is easiest as it helps get them to understand how the dog's mind works. Behavior = Reward = Behavior.
I may get this book. Seems interesting. Thanks for sharing.